Existential Hurricane Watch

Existential Hurricane Watch

(First published in Chicago Literati – December 9, 2016) They’re called ‘existential threats’. Who’s more qualified to report on them but an existentialist? Here the seminal French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre translates the TV weatherman’s clichés that they...
Other EpiPens

Other EpiPens

( “The EpiPens We Didn’t Know We Needed”, first published in Crack the Spine – Issue 204 – December 9, 2016) SchlepiPen is used by either spouse to inject a dose of sanity into a partner insisting upon bringing all luggage on vacation as...
What Do Drug Names Really Mean?

What Do Drug Names Really Mean?

(First published in The Coffeelicious – November 22, 2016) Cialis®: ED therapy or Roman ruler?Flovent®: Rescue inhaler or plumbing fixture?Humalog®: Diabetes medicine or memorable morning movement?Chantix® : Smoking cessation or Gregorian jam?Aggrenox®: Stroke...
The ‘Rape Kit’ Fail

The ‘Rape Kit’ Fail

(First published in The Coffeelicious – November 9, 2016) For something to seem trivial, a casual name only helps.  Like “Rape Kit”.  For something to be ignorable, forgettable, or diminished its importance, allow it a name only a child can delight in.  There is...
Seuss Seats

Seuss Seats

(From the Dr. Seuss Tesla Model S Owner’s Guide – Rear Facing Child Seats – first published in Razed – September 21, 2016) USAGE RESTRICTIONS Facing rear is facing best In child seats, in Model S The best is back and facing rear The front’s behind,...