(From the Dr. Seuss Tesla Model S Owner’s Guide – Rear Facing Child Seats – first published in Razed – September 21, 2016)
USAGE RESTRICTIONS
Facing rear is facing best
In child seats, in Model S
The best is back and facing rear
The front’s behind, not here you steer
Rear-facing seats are grown up, large
See where we ride as we discharge
Sit in the seat and be with us all
To Boy Scouts and Greenpeace
Supercharge at the mall
But not if too big, too short, tall or small
Too shorty, low-voltage, too crawly, don’t squall
Room for a Becky, and next to her, Saul
SEAT PREPARATION AND DEPLOYMENT
Clear all connectors
All cables or toys
A place for two children
Girls, both, or boys
The seats pull up
When folded down
The seats pull up
Tesla Gray, Black or Brown
Pull the seats up
Pull on the fob
Seats pull up
A Daddy job
SEATING A CHILD
Huggy belts with catchy latch
Snuggy safe the clicky ratch
Snatch the Tesla logo latch
Match the huggy logo patch
Ratch and snug the logo latch
Snatch the hatchback latchy catch
Face the back and latch the hatch
RIDING
Clap our hands
Torque is throbbing
Dance our feet
Turbo clocking
EV whine
Noggins nodding
Face our faces
Tesla-rodding